Category Archives: Courage

Crossing Another Bridge

Aug
15
2014
by IBK | 2 Comments

©2014IBKimage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s image is near the west entrance gate of the Denver Botanic Garden.  I have spent the last 3 months crossing this bridge as I enter and depart  during my frequent visits to the garden.  I have also been blessed to live in a 9th floor apartment this summer, overlooking the garden.  At the beginning of the summer my husband and I rented this apartment, in anticipation of our house, in Denver, selling.  We would then continue to spend time in the city in the coming year, but also gradually make a location change to Lincoln, NE where we originally came from 6 years ago.

 

Well things didn’t happen that way.  The house didn’t sell;  my husband whose visual situation has progressed from impairment to blindness felt more secure in a place he had visual memory and experience  for so he moved back into the house; and I’ve spent some time in retreat in the apartment . Graciously our landlord released us from a year’s lease and so next week this chapter ends as the movers move the remaining furniture back home. Things seem about right for now and we’ve both learned that you can’t cross a bridge until you come to it … and it’s important to cross when you do, trusting the future in the present and trading anxieties and over-functioning for gratitude.

Joy!

IBK

Also posted in Aging, Letting Go Tagged , |

Closed Doors

Jul
24
2014
by IBK | 2 Comments

 

 

©2014 IBKimage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The gate in today’s image is on the southeast side of the Denver Botanic Garden. I’d never seen it before on my visits, but this summer I’m exploring specific parts of the garden on shorter but more frequent visits.  I saw it quite by accident as I took cover from the noon sun to take a brief look at my camera  to see if I’d been able to capture the very tall Chihuly sculpture on my small screened ®IPhone.  My original shot went to the trash but then the gate right next to me came into focus. That’s what I was to see that day.

 

Notice the latch on the inside.  Sometimes when we are in a time of major  transition we have to close some doors as we retreat from the daily to the  respite of the closed door and it’s shutting out of distraction.  With time and and healing we can lift the latch and venture out … in the meantime we wait to know when that is and to whom we entrust the key to enter from the outside and walk with us on our journey.

Also posted in Letting Go, New Beginning, Seasons Tagged , , , , |

Something Old is New Again

Aug
30
2013
by IBK | 0 Comments

©IBKimage 2012

 

It’s very interesting how things that we’re struggling with “all of a sudden” resolve.  One day, without notice, something that has been taking away so much of our physical and mental effort, finds it proper proportion in our life, or even disappears.  It was one of those weeks for me.  I was grateful for a negative result on a diabetes test and all that would have implied.  The gratitude turned into action as I examined the layers of denial that I had piled on during the last few months.

All of the things that I can do, (and know how to)  to stay healthy, both physically and emotionally and spiritually, I decided to take a sabbatical from.  Who knows if it was rebellion, passive-agressive behavior, or perhaps  just a realization that in our very human transitions, we sometimes just need  a long “soak” in a dry tub. Having no idea of what’s next, but trusting my creator,redeemer,sustainer to provide what I don’t even know I need.  Until then, we can take small next actions, engaging again in habits that satisfy and then gradually … the old is new again.

Today’s image comes from the Queen City Salvage Yard here in Denver; a delightful garden of oldness tucked underneath a busy I 70 East viaduct.  Here so close and yet so far away from the cacophony of daily activity, are yesterdays front doors, and old car bodies; tools and gadgets from another time, once on grandfather’s tool bench; and rusted hand pumps used to bring cool water to the farm and town kitchens before pvc pipe carried the running water to the faucet.

The paint is peeling on the door in our image but look at the beautiful grain and pattern underneath.  Someone will find this new old door and in just the right season – wherever it goes, it will be just the right thing .

IBK

Also posted in Aging, Blessings, Letting Go, New Beginning, Seasons Tagged , , , , , , |

Stop

May
31
2013
by IBK | 3 Comments

©IBKimage 2012

 

 

Having always been a curious sort from the time I was young, I’d sometimes get into trouble – especially if I asked people about things they’d  rather not disclose.  The phrase then was:  “Stop being so nosy”, or the firmer:  “mind your own business.”  I was always wondering how things worked and would order things like seeds to sell to the older single and widowed ladies in town , ostensibly to save them a trip to the store, but the true reward was the gift of time, conversation, and …a cookie or candy.  Most of the changes in my life were as a result of my interests and explorations and the freedom to experiment and change course.

 

Well into adulthood , I still had that luxury, but somewhere along the way, I found myself getting into trouble again because I was so curious about so many things, in addition to family and other responsibilities, that I kept  trying to devise systems to get and stay organized … this eventually became a career and I helped other people do that … and now today so many years later, I am overwhelmed by the choices that vie for my attention: travel here, try this, donate now,upgrade,download, only $2.00 for an e-book, press the button … Amazon delivers, punch your frequent buyer card and so on …  all of these opportunities can easily morph into agony of decision.

 

Today’s image of my hands  is a made on an ®iPad  in a program called ®Photo Booth, which allows the manipulation of images in a variety of ways.  Somehow it captures the paradox of the possibility  and an open handed prayer / plea for wisdom to minimize the choices that keep us bound.  I remember the gift of love, in those gifts of time and attention and treats, and want to offer that to a new generation.  To do so, I have to  hit the delete button on so many of the things that I routinely do… even if they’re great things – just not my things.  What about you?

Also posted in Aging, Blessings, Letting Go, Seasons, Wisdom Tagged , , , , |

Photo Friends

May
17
2013
by IBK | 2 Comments
Callas at Lakewood

©IBKimage2010

 

I’ve been away for a photography workshop with Frans Lanting and associates in Santa, Cruz California. (www.lanting.com) I first heard of Lanting when he and two other world renowned  masters of nature photography came for a two day Denver event in mid April.  I was especially drawn in by his emphasis on the importance of telling a story with one’s images and his availability to participants attending – as well as his kindness and humility.  After a break on the last day, I heard him say that they (he and partner/wife, Chris Eckstrom) had one spot left for a May workshop in Santa Cruz where they are based.  Impulsively, and yet knowing that this was the next major transition in my photographic learning, I got a business card and signed up with Chris via e-mail that evening.

 

Sixteen came ; from the west, central, and eastern parts of the U.S. and from Germany and Japan/SanFrancisco.  Interesting, curious people ; a variety of ages, and acumen and what we all had in common was a desire to learn and to “do photography together” for 3 1/2 intense days, and become better storytellers learning  from a master and his skilled and delightful associates . How divine!

 

In the coming weeks I ‘ll share more , gleaned from my own new insights and the encouragement I received during my adventure.   There were brief times when I wondered what I was doing there, and the old sirens tried to call me back  to interrupt my journey, but thankfully those times were brief and time and tide as well as new photo friends, call out to come and see.

 

Today’s image is a direct result of learning new ways to see.  It started out as a color photo of a planter full of calla lillies, exquisite in their creme and green hues,and ended up as a black and white exercise in the use of negative space.  Less is more.  “I’m listening Frans …”

IBK

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also posted in Blessings, Insight, Letting Go, Road Trip, Seeing In New Ways, Uncategorized

Endings

Apr
26
2013
by IBK | 1 Comment

©2011MarkMatoon

 

With major transitions, come new challenges and responses.  This sound so obvious, but ask the survivors of a bombing in Boston if their lives will not be forever changed as they navigate their way through through emotional, physical, and spiritual challenges? How about our neighbors in Texas whose town blew up ?  What about the newly diagnosed cancer patient whose journey into the unknown is beginning?  And yet in all of these cases we’ve seen people step forward and surround those hurting, with “gifts of themselves” offered in love and compassion.

 

Most of our transitions are not this abrupt but the years spent in habit whether fruitful or barren, do seem to provide a well to draw on (or not) when our world and our relationships seem to be (or are) crumbling all around us.   Major transitions and pain also seem  to, after a time, help us see new ways that we might choose to adapt to our new “normals.”  Fire most certainly destroys, but it also refines and provides the fuel for our basic survival needs.

 

None of what I’m saying is new, but perhaps I’m reminded again that when our lives  change, whether in sickness or in health (or in death and destruction of recent days) we can boldly enter the wilderness of transition and perhaps marvel at how love finds us us when we are lost and broken. No matter what your transition, find a place of sabbath where you can “lay it all down” and slowly discover what your heart tells you to “pick up again” … leaving behind the demands and expectations of others; and the self created  burdens of perfection, “more” and “faster.”

Today’s image was taken by a photographer,  with whom I studied,on Nantucket Island in June of 2011, a few months after my mother died. The ocean always draws me to itself, and provides the water for my thirst.

IBK

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also posted in Letting Go, New Beginning, Seasons, Seeing In New Ways Tagged , , , , , , |

One Season Following Another

Apr
05
2013
by IBK | 3 Comments

©IBKimage2010

 

In the midst of major drought in our mile high city of Denver, it blesses me to know that tulips can “spring” up out of the driest of dry soil.  As we begin our two day a week, water restrictions for outdoor watering , we learn to be intentional about identifying what we value … green lawns or our access to water for our vegetable gardens  or both … and so on.   As spring turns into summer we may see more severe restrictions, and yet the little things done consistently over a period of time can make a major difference if we all join in … but wait,  our restrictions come from a place of choice that has very little to do at this point with actual need.

We can only water our lawns, twice a week before 9 and after 6 p.m. How about eliminating the lawns for a season or two until we have more snowfall and melt to replenish our reservoirs?  New seasons call for new responses.  Could we shrink our lives with the attendant “busy” to make them bigger; or turn off our cell phones so that we can hear; or turn off our devices so that we can see; unplug our ears to engage, get rid of room scents so that we can smell? Perhaps the biggest drought right now is  that we’re dying of relational thirst and engagement with others vs. constant attention to our “social medias” plural.  It’s a dry season in our places that we live, for more reasons than lack of water for our lawns.

How wonderful the flowers in the midst of dryness.

IBK

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also posted in Seeing In New Ways Tagged , , , |

Mar
29
2013
by IBK | 2 Comments

©IBKimage 2012

 

When my oldest son was little I gave him a book that was in my toy consultant  sample packet.  The title:  “Little While Friends.”  He received it just before we went on a family road trip one summer where we explored three towns named Keystone in three states … among other things.  Stopping to climb rocks or while visiting a snake attraction, he would often find little while friends to interact with.  They didn’t have the same stature as friends from home or the familiarity and commitment of family, but it taught him early on that there are interesting people and sights all around that satisfy. Perhaps, like a beautiful mixed bouquet of flowers in a vase from the floral shop; they are precious because they are a fragile, time-limited treasures.

Now these little while friends don’t always have to be people … the beauty of nature in it distinct seasons, the gift of artists helping us enter into a place we hadn’t considered before; musicians stirring our souls; delight with new learning and new technologies that improve our daily living and help to restore in some manner what has been lost … but generally, it’s people we continually seem to say goodbye to; at airports and graduations, weddings and job changes, first day of school and retirement, and then a final ending whose tension we all live with confronted with so many “little while” choices, actions and engagements.

Our layered wall hanging in today’s image, by a fiber artist in Omaha, NE provided a little while delight on a restaurant wall, as a long time friend and I cherished precious time together over a meal,but more importantly it also reminds me that no matter how dark it might be, the light is thankfully always present. The story of death and resurrection, mourned and celebrated is thankfully” little while” and eternal.

IBK

 

 

Also posted in Aging, Authenticity, Seasons, Seeing In New Ways Tagged , , , , , , , , |

Mit der Wahl, Kommt die Qual

Mar
08
2013
by IBK | 1 Comment

©IBKimage2013

 

German was my native language and after my family immigrated to the U.S. when I was almost six, I’m happy to say that my wise mother continued to encourage me to keep learning and speaking German.  One of the delights of being bi-lingual is that there are certain words and phrases that so precisely describe a thing or situation in one language, and yet it’s not always easy to convey the same thought when trying to translate from one to the other.  So with today’s blog title being in German, we’ll discuss a phrase that does capture the same thought quite well in both languages.

The English translation is this:  With the choice (Wahl) comes the agony,pain (Qual).  You may not understand German but you understand this concept.  With the hundreds of choices we can, must, and do make everyday, there is an increasing agony of mind and spirit numbing overwhelm.  I no longer subscribe to “getting organized” (and I was once a professional organizer) but rather I’m desperately trying to reduce the options orgy, so that I have more clarity about how to live my life and with whom and with very little stuff. (My apologies to those of you who have to  slog through hundreds of e-mails and other electronic data at work, some daily!)

One of my mentors and wise friend had this to say about overwhelm:  “You can only manage so many choices, relationships, or you start to emotionally hemorrhage…” I would add spiritually and relationally to that too.  Today’s image come’s pretty close to describing the jungle of choices I’m currently lost in. Ironically, the “grey jungle” was a soft sculpture for sale in an upscale housewares decorator shop. 🙂

IBK

IBK

 

 

Also posted in Aging, Letting Go Tagged , , , |

Sep
21
2012
by IBK | 3 Comments

©IBKimage 2011

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nebraska author Willa Cather once said: “Some things you learn in calm, some things in storm…”  The last two weeks I’ve had the privilege and pain to learn in both conditions. In the calm of this week, the storm of vertigo and pulsatile tinnitus have suddenly, after a three month fury,  thankfully blown out to sea. Turns out that it might have been too high a dose of my thyroid medicine which under different conditions was just right. A dear friend’s visit brought delightful hours of conversation and laughter and comfort when recounting incidents of a broken heart.  Finishing a project after weeks of interviews, listening, editing and learning, preparation for sharing, provided a time of calmness tonight, after a  storm of self-doubt, anxiety of wondering  why I had any credentials to do this, and so on.

Like the lighthouse on Nantucket Island surrounded by a morning fog, we often can’t see clearly what it is that is directly in front of us and instead work so hard to see or engage in activity to clear the fog, often resulting in a stormy tempest in our soul or less dramatic, fatigue.   And then … the fog rolls out to sea without our effort.  We can stop filling in the blanks and things are clearer.

Next week I’ll be traveling to Germany with my family to spread my late mother’s ashes on the North Sea near where she lived before being emigrating to America ; it is also the place where I was born.  In the intervening years since my last visit to our hometown, on the occasion of her 80th birthday, much has been revealed in calm and storm.

I wish you shelter and companions in your calms and storms.

IBK

 

Also posted in Letting Go Tagged , , , |