Category Archives: Letting Go

Stop

May
31
2013
by IBK | 3 Comments

©IBKimage 2012

 

 

Having always been a curious sort from the time I was young, I’d sometimes get into trouble – especially if I asked people about things they’d  rather not disclose.  The phrase then was:  “Stop being so nosy”, or the firmer:  “mind your own business.”  I was always wondering how things worked and would order things like seeds to sell to the older single and widowed ladies in town , ostensibly to save them a trip to the store, but the true reward was the gift of time, conversation, and …a cookie or candy.  Most of the changes in my life were as a result of my interests and explorations and the freedom to experiment and change course.

 

Well into adulthood , I still had that luxury, but somewhere along the way, I found myself getting into trouble again because I was so curious about so many things, in addition to family and other responsibilities, that I kept  trying to devise systems to get and stay organized … this eventually became a career and I helped other people do that … and now today so many years later, I am overwhelmed by the choices that vie for my attention: travel here, try this, donate now,upgrade,download, only $2.00 for an e-book, press the button … Amazon delivers, punch your frequent buyer card and so on …  all of these opportunities can easily morph into agony of decision.

 

Today’s image of my hands  is a made on an ®iPad  in a program called ®Photo Booth, which allows the manipulation of images in a variety of ways.  Somehow it captures the paradox of the possibility  and an open handed prayer / plea for wisdom to minimize the choices that keep us bound.  I remember the gift of love, in those gifts of time and attention and treats, and want to offer that to a new generation.  To do so, I have to  hit the delete button on so many of the things that I routinely do… even if they’re great things – just not my things.  What about you?

Also posted in Aging, Blessings, Courage, Seasons, Wisdom Tagged , , , , |

Photo Friends

May
17
2013
by IBK | 2 Comments
Callas at Lakewood

©IBKimage2010

 

I’ve been away for a photography workshop with Frans Lanting and associates in Santa, Cruz California. (www.lanting.com) I first heard of Lanting when he and two other world renowned  masters of nature photography came for a two day Denver event in mid April.  I was especially drawn in by his emphasis on the importance of telling a story with one’s images and his availability to participants attending – as well as his kindness and humility.  After a break on the last day, I heard him say that they (he and partner/wife, Chris Eckstrom) had one spot left for a May workshop in Santa Cruz where they are based.  Impulsively, and yet knowing that this was the next major transition in my photographic learning, I got a business card and signed up with Chris via e-mail that evening.

 

Sixteen came ; from the west, central, and eastern parts of the U.S. and from Germany and Japan/SanFrancisco.  Interesting, curious people ; a variety of ages, and acumen and what we all had in common was a desire to learn and to “do photography together” for 3 1/2 intense days, and become better storytellers learning  from a master and his skilled and delightful associates . How divine!

 

In the coming weeks I ‘ll share more , gleaned from my own new insights and the encouragement I received during my adventure.   There were brief times when I wondered what I was doing there, and the old sirens tried to call me back  to interrupt my journey, but thankfully those times were brief and time and tide as well as new photo friends, call out to come and see.

 

Today’s image is a direct result of learning new ways to see.  It started out as a color photo of a planter full of calla lillies, exquisite in their creme and green hues,and ended up as a black and white exercise in the use of negative space.  Less is more.  “I’m listening Frans …”

IBK

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also posted in Blessings, Courage, Insight, Road Trip, Seeing In New Ways, Uncategorized

Endings

Apr
26
2013
by IBK | 1 Comment

©2011MarkMatoon

 

With major transitions, come new challenges and responses.  This sound so obvious, but ask the survivors of a bombing in Boston if their lives will not be forever changed as they navigate their way through through emotional, physical, and spiritual challenges? How about our neighbors in Texas whose town blew up ?  What about the newly diagnosed cancer patient whose journey into the unknown is beginning?  And yet in all of these cases we’ve seen people step forward and surround those hurting, with “gifts of themselves” offered in love and compassion.

 

Most of our transitions are not this abrupt but the years spent in habit whether fruitful or barren, do seem to provide a well to draw on (or not) when our world and our relationships seem to be (or are) crumbling all around us.   Major transitions and pain also seem  to, after a time, help us see new ways that we might choose to adapt to our new “normals.”  Fire most certainly destroys, but it also refines and provides the fuel for our basic survival needs.

 

None of what I’m saying is new, but perhaps I’m reminded again that when our lives  change, whether in sickness or in health (or in death and destruction of recent days) we can boldly enter the wilderness of transition and perhaps marvel at how love finds us us when we are lost and broken. No matter what your transition, find a place of sabbath where you can “lay it all down” and slowly discover what your heart tells you to “pick up again” … leaving behind the demands and expectations of others; and the self created  burdens of perfection, “more” and “faster.”

Today’s image was taken by a photographer,  with whom I studied,on Nantucket Island in June of 2011, a few months after my mother died. The ocean always draws me to itself, and provides the water for my thirst.

IBK

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also posted in Courage, New Beginning, Seasons, Seeing In New Ways Tagged , , , , , , |

Mit der Wahl, Kommt die Qual

Mar
08
2013
by IBK | 1 Comment

©IBKimage2013

 

German was my native language and after my family immigrated to the U.S. when I was almost six, I’m happy to say that my wise mother continued to encourage me to keep learning and speaking German.  One of the delights of being bi-lingual is that there are certain words and phrases that so precisely describe a thing or situation in one language, and yet it’s not always easy to convey the same thought when trying to translate from one to the other.  So with today’s blog title being in German, we’ll discuss a phrase that does capture the same thought quite well in both languages.

The English translation is this:  With the choice (Wahl) comes the agony,pain (Qual).  You may not understand German but you understand this concept.  With the hundreds of choices we can, must, and do make everyday, there is an increasing agony of mind and spirit numbing overwhelm.  I no longer subscribe to “getting organized” (and I was once a professional organizer) but rather I’m desperately trying to reduce the options orgy, so that I have more clarity about how to live my life and with whom and with very little stuff. (My apologies to those of you who have to  slog through hundreds of e-mails and other electronic data at work, some daily!)

One of my mentors and wise friend had this to say about overwhelm:  “You can only manage so many choices, relationships, or you start to emotionally hemorrhage…” I would add spiritually and relationally to that too.  Today’s image come’s pretty close to describing the jungle of choices I’m currently lost in. Ironically, the “grey jungle” was a soft sculpture for sale in an upscale housewares decorator shop. 🙂

IBK

IBK

 

 

Also posted in Aging, Courage Tagged , , , |

Building Down

Jan
11
2013
by IBK | 1 Comment

©IBKimage2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My grandparents in Germany were married for 62 years and  from my earliest memories , until my last visit with my grandfather when he was 100, the layout of their (and later his) rental residences was always very similar.  A small cozy living room with a modular desk storage area with a medium sized TV ;  a round table in front of the couch where meals were eaten, games played,and long conversations held; a wooden cabinet which held valuables, dishes, wine glasses, vases, and candy and small purchased cookies to offer visitors for afternoon coffee;  a rectangular chase lounge tucked in a corner and finally the doors to the small outdoor seating area, their one bedroom,  a small kitchen and a foyer where they had a storage cupboard, a small bathroom with handheld shower, and a coat and hat rack along with an umbrella stand and a drawer for gloves,scarves and other items. Oh, and of course the flowerpots in the deep windowsill in front of the sheer curtains.

In 1964 when I spent the summer with them in Germany, they began speaking of:  “building down”.  What they meant by that, was that it was time to give away and sell some of their “larger” furniture, let go of items, and re-evaluate what they would need as they planned to move to a smaller apartment that suited their needs and their lifestyle, for their “last” years (which for my grandmother would be another 16 years and my grandfather another 30.)

I am challenged (or perhaps invited) to once again “build down”, to make room for only that which supports what I value, releases me from past identity and accomplishment, and frees me to schedule my life to live in a present moment , not weighted down with things, but released  to lift my hands in worship and joy; freed to receive instead of forcing, and finally to be available to continue to be in relationship with those who are or will come into my life in this new year.

Instead of getting organized this year, ask yourself:  “What am I clutching in my hand that when released, will free me to …”

IBK

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also posted in New Beginning Tagged , , , |

Sep
21
2012
by IBK | 3 Comments

©IBKimage 2011

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nebraska author Willa Cather once said: “Some things you learn in calm, some things in storm…”  The last two weeks I’ve had the privilege and pain to learn in both conditions. In the calm of this week, the storm of vertigo and pulsatile tinnitus have suddenly, after a three month fury,  thankfully blown out to sea. Turns out that it might have been too high a dose of my thyroid medicine which under different conditions was just right. A dear friend’s visit brought delightful hours of conversation and laughter and comfort when recounting incidents of a broken heart.  Finishing a project after weeks of interviews, listening, editing and learning, preparation for sharing, provided a time of calmness tonight, after a  storm of self-doubt, anxiety of wondering  why I had any credentials to do this, and so on.

Like the lighthouse on Nantucket Island surrounded by a morning fog, we often can’t see clearly what it is that is directly in front of us and instead work so hard to see or engage in activity to clear the fog, often resulting in a stormy tempest in our soul or less dramatic, fatigue.   And then … the fog rolls out to sea without our effort.  We can stop filling in the blanks and things are clearer.

Next week I’ll be traveling to Germany with my family to spread my late mother’s ashes on the North Sea near where she lived before being emigrating to America ; it is also the place where I was born.  In the intervening years since my last visit to our hometown, on the occasion of her 80th birthday, much has been revealed in calm and storm.

I wish you shelter and companions in your calms and storms.

IBK

 

Also posted in Courage Tagged , , , |

Gratitude

Aug
24
2012
by IBK | 2 Comments

©IBKimage2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes, but not often enough I “get over myself”and just relish the dance in the moment. Last week I joined a photography “Meetup” at the Denver Botanic Garden for a member’s only 7:00 a.m. entry before the general public admission at 9:00.  How delightful to be able to “capture” morning’s soft light offering and it’s cool breeze.  When I put the camera to my eye to frame a shot, all of the tensions of a hundred details attended to in the previous week, float away, and  the music of intentional seeing starts its tune.  Here a color, there a texture, water flowing, interesting patterns, butterflies landing,bees pollinating, reflections on the pond, water lilies opening on their own schedule …. and I’m released from mine.

 

Todays image could be cropped to capture only the most beautiful  strong proud “pick of the litter” (I live in Denver where there are almost as many dogs as flowers … I digress) and that’s where the focus usually is, but if you saw the image in full size you’d see the most beautiful light illuminating the bent stems of the drooping flower.  The flowers are still alive, but just not strong enough to stand upright.  A reminder perhaps that sometimes we have to take a leave of absence  from our, activities, challenges, schedules, burdens, losses, and incessant doings. A  garden to dance in and to wait, watch and listen as one season follows  another, one flower dies another shoots up new life.  Meanwhile the light shines in the darkness and the early morning light.  How divine.

 

IBK

Also posted in Aging, Seeing In New Ways Tagged , , , , , , |

Both-And

Apr
12
2012
by IBK | 2 Comments

© IBKimage 2010

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later today I hope be sitting by this tidal pool in Washington, D.C. surrounded by the Cherry Blossoms and “hanging out” with my youngest son.  As I was reviewing my pre-trip list I suddenly remembered that it was “blog night ” so I thought through how I would do that remotely and so on, until I realized that I could do a “blog morning.”  This was a reminder of a theme I have been noticing in my life during the last two weeks … I’m slowly experiencing some progress with “both-and” vs. “either or”.

As long as I can remember, I have had pre-trip reluctance; I’m excited about going and 24 hours or more before I start to enter the “I’ve got everything done, and I could now stay home mode.” The way I usually deal with that is to over-function by over packing, over-cleaning; over organizing  and so on (just in case I don’t make it home, other people would have to pay my bills, find my … and so on) … except today.

Full disclosure:  I haven’t vacuumed for 4 weeks; dusted for 3; but it’s ok to use the bathroom or eat in my kitchen “cause” those are spotless.  So you see, perhaps there are things in our lives we could approach from a both-and perspective that allows us to be a bit kinder with ourselves and subsequently others.  I’m going to keep noticing when both-and opportunities present themselves.  You?

IBK

Also posted in Seeing In New Ways Tagged , , |

Let It Rest

Mar
30
2012
by IBK | 5 Comments

©IBKimage2010

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The word I’ve been thinking about this week is fallow.  Generally we think of leaving a field fallow; it is plowed and harrowed but left unsown for a time to restore its fertility as a part  of crop rotation.  Leaving a piece of ground  fallow will also reduce the risk of disease or parasite transmission.  I experienced it this week in the form of people that came into my presence who are in need of rest after experiencing long seasons  of growth along with storms and other challenges; I noticed a garden area in my neighborhood that after 3 years of “nothing” seems to be sprouting new growth in our very premature warm spring. Some might recall that I didn’t send out a blog last week … my creative energies have been fallow after several months of learning,doing,scheduling,adjusting,recovering and so on.

The interesting thing about a fallow field is that it’s plowed and ready to do what “it” does; but it is intentionally not sown with new seed; its taking a break from providing a new yield at harvest.

What could you leave unsown in your life  in this season that will allow you to experience rest and restoration ?  What do you need to say no to be able to say yes to a fallow field or two ?

IBK

Also posted in Courage, Insight, Seasons Tagged , , , |

“Shake off those guilty fears, arise …”

Mar
16
2012
by IBK | 2 Comments

© 2011 IBKimage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The words of today’s caption are from a song sung on Sunday mornings at my church.  Our single stock of wheat  in today’s image seems ready to shake off it’s snow covering  to arise to grow again  after a winter’s nap under a protective blanket of snow.  Wishing you joy as you await the gift of a new spring. Arise.

IBK

Also posted in Seasons Tagged , |