Tag Archives: Grief

Hello Again

Jun
24
2021
by IBK | 6 Comments

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m resuming my blog called: “Word and Image” after a two year hiatus. Some of you are reading this for the first time  … Welcome!

 

My last blog on May 03, 2019 with the title: “Things Are Not Always Clear” was the end of a season and the earliest transition of a nine month journey that culminated in my husband’s joy of healing from a medical event in July of 2019 and the anticipation of having our small family gathering for the Christmas holiday in Denver and welcoming a new member to the clan … our youngest son’s fiancee.

In January of 2020 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, had a mastectomy in February and a week later my husband Dave, who now had advanced prostate cancer, stayed with his sister in Kansas. Covid 19 realities had entered our reality as well as everyone else’s.

We were reunited by the end of March and were able to spend some precious weeks together realizing that a new journey was beginning where we would be separating. After a 4 week home hospice journey, he died peacefully, surrounded by family.

That’s the story in a nutshell and I’ve been writing this blog in my head and heart and mind in myriad ways. Finally on June 12, the one year anniversary of Dave’s death, I was at peace that things were clearer, and that I am now in a new season of the “Grace of New Beginnings,” a phrase that I first read in a book called: “Celtic Benediction; Morning and Evening Prayers” by Phillip Newell.

I am grateful for this season. I’m currently cancer free; have grieved well with the support of so many; and am finding in this grief journey a freedom and joy in God’s provision and timing. From Psalm 31 verse 15, a beautiful reminder … David the Psalmist talking to God: “my time is in your hands.”

One of the best life changing gifts post mastectomy, is that I became a morning person, with no effort of my own. I just started waking up around 5-6 a.m. every morning. That led to a slow resumption of walking every day and became my physical and mental health anchor in stormy times.

We each have phrases and habits that we remember and often turn to in times of transition. One that I remember, was from my high school English teacher who posted a new phrase every Monday:  “The journey a thousand miles begins with one step.”

I’ve stepped back on the path to explore and live the unfinished story with new habits and am happy to be back to “offer insight and encouragement in life’s transitions.”

Today’s image, the poppy, is a flower that I’ve photographed often. The gossamer petals, and tall stems sway in the breeze in clusters with other poppies and are difficult to capture. On a morning walk recently, I realized that the story I was trying to tell was about one poppy, surrounded by community, but distinctive in its beauty and dancing in the moment offering joy to those who choose to see and engage.

Ingrid (IBK)

Posted in Aging, Blessings, Death, Gratitude, New Beginning, Seasons, Solitude Also tagged , , , |

Evergreen

Dec
20
2013
by IBK | 2 Comments

©2009IBKimage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking closely at today’s image, you’ll see a small tree growing out of a rock field on a ledge near a waterfall at Yellowstone National Park.  The falls are more famous as well as spectacular grand views  often seen on postcards.  What intrigued me about this small tree, was it’s actual existence in a harsh environment. Think of the various conditions of wind, rain,  hail storm and at times extreme heat and cold; look closely at the small bend in the tree, suggesting at one time perhaps a boulder lodged in its trunk and yet it is quite hardy, crowned with healthy new evergreen growth.

 

At this year closes perhaps we can be grateful that in the midst of our sometimes  difficult conditions we at some point – if we’re open to that – are transformed by change and loss and after a time of grieving and  anger and inconvenience and love and nurture by those close in heart, even if far away, in the new season the new growth appears and the heart rejoices; changed, but with stronger roots to withstand the opportunities and challenges of being human.

Blessings to you and yours as you gather near and far in the coming days rejoicing in the love of God and neighbor.

Joy,

IBK

Posted in Uncategorized Also tagged , , , , , |

New Beginnings

Aug
23
2013
by IBK | 1 Comment

©IBKimage2012

 

Dear Readers, I’m back from my summer sabbatical of sorts and happy to be. The discipline of a weekly blog makes me think more clearly about a theme that I’d like to explore and during the week I receive a phrase here and there, read a sentence in a book, hear a song  or interview on the radio and so on.

Like little grains of sand that collectively become the beach, these bits of blessings gradually form a word pattern. When  partnered with an image, a story emerges. At other times a picture is the theme and provides a wonderful opportunity to process the many distinct experiences I’ve had in a week and try to make some sense of it.

Sometimes in the days and weeks that seemingly fly by while one is confronted with the realities of being human – illness, death, major life transitions, celebrating milestones, mending relationships, moving, fatness, and so on,the very things that can help us along the way through, are often the tools that sit idly in the shed.

As I bemoan the fact that my image making and “wordsmithing”have taken a backseat this summer, I realize, like the small tiles in todays image, when joined together a beautiful pattern make, that the small  acts of presence and and listening, and celebration, and grief, and encouragement,and humor, are all  a way that love can illuminate the darkness and elevate the joys.

Delighted to be back “in the saddle.”

IBK

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Aging, Blessings, New Beginning, Seasons Also tagged , , , , |

Endings

Apr
26
2013
by IBK | 1 Comment

©2011MarkMatoon

 

With major transitions, come new challenges and responses.  This sound so obvious, but ask the survivors of a bombing in Boston if their lives will not be forever changed as they navigate their way through through emotional, physical, and spiritual challenges? How about our neighbors in Texas whose town blew up ?  What about the newly diagnosed cancer patient whose journey into the unknown is beginning?  And yet in all of these cases we’ve seen people step forward and surround those hurting, with “gifts of themselves” offered in love and compassion.

 

Most of our transitions are not this abrupt but the years spent in habit whether fruitful or barren, do seem to provide a well to draw on (or not) when our world and our relationships seem to be (or are) crumbling all around us.   Major transitions and pain also seem  to, after a time, help us see new ways that we might choose to adapt to our new “normals.”  Fire most certainly destroys, but it also refines and provides the fuel for our basic survival needs.

 

None of what I’m saying is new, but perhaps I’m reminded again that when our lives  change, whether in sickness or in health (or in death and destruction of recent days) we can boldly enter the wilderness of transition and perhaps marvel at how love finds us us when we are lost and broken. No matter what your transition, find a place of sabbath where you can “lay it all down” and slowly discover what your heart tells you to “pick up again” … leaving behind the demands and expectations of others; and the self created  burdens of perfection, “more” and “faster.”

Today’s image was taken by a photographer,  with whom I studied,on Nantucket Island in June of 2011, a few months after my mother died. The ocean always draws me to itself, and provides the water for my thirst.

IBK

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Courage, Letting Go, New Beginning, Seasons, Seeing In New Ways Also tagged , , , , , |

Mar
29
2013
by IBK | 2 Comments

©IBKimage 2012

 

When my oldest son was little I gave him a book that was in my toy consultant  sample packet.  The title:  “Little While Friends.”  He received it just before we went on a family road trip one summer where we explored three towns named Keystone in three states … among other things.  Stopping to climb rocks or while visiting a snake attraction, he would often find little while friends to interact with.  They didn’t have the same stature as friends from home or the familiarity and commitment of family, but it taught him early on that there are interesting people and sights all around that satisfy. Perhaps, like a beautiful mixed bouquet of flowers in a vase from the floral shop; they are precious because they are a fragile, time-limited treasures.

Now these little while friends don’t always have to be people … the beauty of nature in it distinct seasons, the gift of artists helping us enter into a place we hadn’t considered before; musicians stirring our souls; delight with new learning and new technologies that improve our daily living and help to restore in some manner what has been lost … but generally, it’s people we continually seem to say goodbye to; at airports and graduations, weddings and job changes, first day of school and retirement, and then a final ending whose tension we all live with confronted with so many “little while” choices, actions and engagements.

Our layered wall hanging in today’s image, by a fiber artist in Omaha, NE provided a little while delight on a restaurant wall, as a long time friend and I cherished precious time together over a meal,but more importantly it also reminds me that no matter how dark it might be, the light is thankfully always present. The story of death and resurrection, mourned and celebrated is thankfully” little while” and eternal.

IBK

 

 

Posted in Aging, Authenticity, Courage, Seasons, Seeing In New Ways Also tagged , , , , , , , |

Thanksgiving at the Farm

Nov
24
2011
by IBK | 3 Comments
11242011Thanksgiving

©IBKimage2011

Today was the warmest ever Thanksgiving Day on record in the Omaha Nebraska area.  Our  city folk from D.C.,Denver and Lincoln, plus the Kansas relatives gathered at “The Farm” – a place we love to come home to especially during a holiday time when most of our small family can gather.  Before my husband and I moved away 3 years ago, coming home meant coming to our house in Lincoln.  We were the gathering place.  I loved bringing my special dressing/stuffing that everyone loves to this gathering, but I also loved that a new generation did things their way and that we as a family have always been able to be flexible while still keeping a few favorite traditions.

Last year my mom was at home in Hospice care and we recalled today that by entering into her “dying process”, we all learned much about how to live .  My husband upon hearing my mother’s diagnosis that would be the cause of her death said:  “We will all grieve your mother’s dying but without regret for words unspoken and actions not taken”.  On this Thanksgiving day without her,we celebrated with no regrets.

IBK

Posted in New Beginning Also tagged , , , |